Evenings can be hard for me, they always have

I get weird feelings of being far away and small

like I should be somewhere but not where I am

as if the world's too big and has to many people

and they're all going to someplace I'm not going

and they're all doing the things I cannot be doing

my focus becomes grainy, like a scratched photo

within the picture I'm running late and out of time

I fall into the same routine of my own self-comfort

self medicating with alcohol and drugs, overeating

but I'm sober now, mostly better, yet still can binge

I don't know how it started, and mostly it's stopped

and it sure is true that it's hard for people to change

I've heard a number of folks older than me say

"I don't feel old, I don't feel like I'm old as I am"

sometimes I'd think, "well, you sure do look old"

and now I'm old, but I also don't feel old as I am

which means I'm appearing old to young people

so, I guess it's my turn to be old, knock on wood

Chant the name of The Wholly Scientific Truth

the new religion for this age of human healing 

give humble obeisance and big thanks to the

father of The Wholly Scientific Truth, Aristotle

and to each of his disciples, who came after 

as all have greatly blessed our burgeoning order

please do remember them well and never forget

Albert Einstein, Issac Newton, Stephen Hawking

Marie Curie, Nicolaus Copernicus, Archimedes

Carl Sagan, Galileo Galilei, and Leonardo da Vinci

The thug in the rug's 'bout a Lil' boy named Paddy

his parents rice poor when along came the Laddie

so up for adaption like them steers sold at auction

and Paddy's new daddy's a big rancher from Austin


All seemed very fine until the day Paddy turned ten

when one of the cowhands who's not a gentlemen

gave the kid a present that'd forever change his life

two gifts of cocaine and one teenaged whore wife


Next came the beers, yes, the youth loved cervezas

and a dozen drunk empties a day donned his mesa

when in the year of thirteen poor Paddy went to rum

his old pal Jesus showed him his firsthand held gun


Well Jesus's wife Lucy had all along serviced El rancho

but with her favorite guy Paddy she decided to only go

this quite angered Jesus and it led to some showdown

where Paddy shot Jesus in a place just outside of town


As almost all patrons in Texas are Anglo-Saxony men

the many rumors of murder and this delinquent Asian

spread fast as does wildfire let loose in high chaparral

when the school's biggest bully next fell to his shrapnel


"Hey, slant-eyed chink!"  Tommy Wilkins shouted out

"let's meet after class near the old corral roundabout

right there in the pit of town's secret chicken fight bell

cos I'm sending you back on a junk straight to hell!"

Let's write a children's book

by Doctor Loose as a Goose

do it swell in all giddy poetry

fun like that water wiggle toy

Oh poems are comparatively so easy to write

not like long novels that become longer fights

or essays you know, requiring focus and drive

and stories dear me bringing tears to my eyes

yes poems are by far the lightest literary thing 

to pen a great poem, is the stuff of my dreams

The Wikipedia said he'd been sick for some time

but went on ill for awhile before his final demise

then a couple years ago I too felt a loss of health

feeling weak and sometimes dizzily out of sorts

I've been sensing myself gradually getting worse 

so it's my turn to go downhill like famous people

except for me there won't be a public explanation

The Dr. is loose, yes he's loosey as goosey!

an hilarious practitioner, so funny to go see 

his aura has soared, high like the mountains

here come his jokes, sprinkling as fountains

his joy's quite infectious, like happy diseases

oh dear Dr. Loose, we just love you to pieces

Yes the only hope, the only promise is faith in this

all humans coming together in science truth bliss

dancing and chanting as over seven billion strong 

our most factual and wholly, scientific truth song

I'm happy for me, I'm happy for you

I'm happy for her, I'm happy for him

I'm happy for we, I'm happy for them

I'm happy I'm happy, I'm happy again!

I've been a bully, and I've been bullied

but I'm not a mean coward anymore

I still get bullied though, mostly subtly

a look that says I'm not good enough

or I'm too old and it's all too late for me

Mad looks from envious, broken men

gratefully, I've never been badly bullied

and when I come across bullies today

I image moments when the tables are

turned on them, and they beg for mercy

like the pathetic crybabies they all are

The world was not made for Adam

His snakes and aggregate fruit

like figments of the imagination

manducating sagacity

Diddo for dear departed Eve

Her ersatz and burning faith

like faculas from the sun

zapping pome leaves to dust

The one and only hindmost hope

in this godless and gardenless

sphere of cosmic circumgyration

Is the wholly scientific truth

The whole truth and nothing but

so help our star-crossed oblivion

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