The Constitutionalists

     The first-amendment-auditing Beaton brothers were heading to yet another downtown police station, when their 2022 Lexus hit some debris on the freeway and blew the left front wheel. The exploding noise from the tire and scary lurch of the front-end struck simultaneously.

     "Shit!" The twins drawled together, disappearing into the silent, jouncing, slow Mo waggle of highspeed automobile accidents.

     Despite a sharp pull towards the median, Mickey managed to maintain control of the well-serviced vehicle and nurse the car across one lane of the expressway and onto the right shoulder. The moment the grating sound of denigrating rubber ended is the moment the siblings began decompression.

     "Oh my god." Spikey whispered. "That was fucking insane." 

     Mickey slowly and deeply exhaled. 

     "Whoa," he said, "yeah, we almost went into that wall bro. What the fuck?" 

     "Exactly, what the fuck is right!" Spikey agreed. "Good thing the traffic's light, that's all I can say."

     "Oh, that's all you can say?" Mickey nervously joked. "We almost just died and all you can say is good thing there's light traffic?"

     Spike gazed quickly at Mike, and the two burst out laughing.

     When the guffaw ceased and the tension eased, Spikey made his signature what-the-fuck gesture by raising his hands, palms up and shoulder high, and satirically over-shrugging his shoulders.

     Spikey shot a calm gaze out the rolled down passenger window and announced, "Well, I'm glad it was."

     "Yeah, me too brother." Agreed the older by four solid minutes Beaton twin.

     Out of the blue Mickey shot his sinewy forearm across Spikey's powerful chest and sharply karate chopped the glove box open. The compartment contained DMV documents, maps, tissue paper, keys, four cell phones, and a Glock. Mickey grabbed one of the mobile phones.

     "Call Mitch and tell him we're gonna be late." Mickey said, nonchalantly tossing up the device. "I'll change the flat."

     "No wait, bad idea!" Spikey insisted, gracefully catching the iPhone with one hand. "I'll change the flat, I'm on this side. You call Mitchy."

     "Sounds like a plan, Stan," Mickey shot back.