I'd planned on murdering Tucker Carlson,
when he'd gone to the store all by himself
for what reason each and every Thursday,
he lone shopped while restocking shelves
Shadowing him right over to lunch meats,
a monkey wrench got thrown in my plans
here came face to face with Sean Hannity!
so, I man-slaughtered instead the big ham
Glancing over I saw Carlson's near coolers,
transferring two one-gallon sweet tea jugs
he's staring straight at me and drops them,
so, I shoot him too with the leftover's slugs
Needless to say I won't make it outta there,
off-duty cops in the pickle's aisle had been
no time remaining for reloading any gusto,
so, my blood flows like sweet tea's revenge